White coat. Heels.
your thong is hanging out like whoa
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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