You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
