is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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