How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
