better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize