I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
