Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
