Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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