y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
