Cold hands, warm shart.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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