Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
