I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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