Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
