you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
