I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
