I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
