So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
