He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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