we have officially mastered the walk of shame
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
