But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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