My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
