He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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