Michael Bay diarrhea
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
