I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
