I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I think your dad took our porno
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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