Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
