I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
