Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
