so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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