come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
They took my balls.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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