So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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