it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
