I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
