He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
