I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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