she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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