the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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