Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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