Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
