what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
