Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why is there bacon in the couch?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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