when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
