u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i would punch a child for taco bell
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
