Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
