you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
