is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
