Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
the raccoons are back...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
