I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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