that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
