Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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