What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
