just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
