Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
handjob tips. give me some.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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