We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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