I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
