You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Randomize
