My Higher Power is John Stamos
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
