it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
there is glitter all over my balls
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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