come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
