You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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