shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Watching her eat just hurts me
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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